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This section is open to anyone who has questions or wants information on adoption. The only thing we require is that all questions and comments be respectful of parents who've adopted.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:42 am 
I'm New!

Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2012 4:18 pm
Posts: 5
Your Adoption Connection: Waiting to adopt
We are currently with an agency and have been told about a possible independent situation. We aren't sure what the next step is. We have been told the expectant mom wants to meet us but we have not had direct contact with her yet. She has been given contact information for us. What things should we ask/know before we take the trip? At what point do we look for a lawyer? I don't want to rush into anything because we still dont know if anything will come from this for us. Wondering when to tell the agency to put us on hold. I wish I could give more information but I don't feel comfortable doing so in such an open forum.

I have such a mix of emotions as is probably normal. Thanks for any help.

Unread postPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:03 am 
Site Admin
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 2:23 am
Posts: 5347
Location: Farm fields of Illinois
Your Adoption Connection: International, foster and private adoption.
We never did an independent adoption, but I think I could chime in with a couple of comments? (Not unlike me, BTW... LOL)

I would meet with her first; then, if you all feel comfortable with proceeding, I'd contact an adoption attorneys ASAP. The adoption attorney should be able to help you from that point. As I understand it in these types of situations, it's very important to have legal representation for you...and in some states, an independent attorney for the birthperson.

Depending on what your state requires....again, a qualified adoption attorney should be able to guide you from that point. If you're unsure about an adoption attorney, I would highly recommend one from the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Click on your state and go from there. Some have fees that are higher than others.

Keep in mind too, most people would discourage you from 'matching' in an early stage of pregnancy. An adoption attorney can also be the mediator for any possible expenses any birthperson is asking for. (Very important...especially with matching prior to birth.)

Here's the link for the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys:


I would NOT ask your agency to place you 'on hold' until you've talked extensively with an adoption attorney. Sadly, there are scammers out there who know all too well how anxious hopeful adoptive people are......please be careful.

Good luck to you and please keep us updated.



There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own. ~Robert Brault

Adoption Specialist for
Adopt America Network

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