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This section is open to anyone who has questions or wants information on adoption. The only thing we require is that all questions and comments be respectful of parents who've adopted.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:49 pm 
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I'm New!

Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 2
Your Adoption Connection: Matched with three children
Hello! I am new to the forum, and am excited to get some ideas for our next very exciting step...MEETING OUR KIDS!!! :cheer Well, hopefully they will be our kids :smile We are adopting through foster care, are fully licensed and ready to fost/adopt, and have been chosen to adopt them. After many disappointing post-ponements, we will hopefully get to meet them at their current foster home this Friday!!! :jump2 They have only been in one foster home for the 1yr they have been away from BP, so they are pretty settled in there, and most likely do not remember living with BPs. They are 1,2,and almost 3yrs old. What fun things have you all done on that first visit to help foster them wanting to play with you?

I am also concerned that even though we are planning for multiple pre-placement visits (4-5), once they leave their current home and come home with us, they will feel like they have been kidnapped. Not in so many words, but just that they have been taken against their will from the only life they have known. How have you all dealt with this? How do you first bring it up to the two older ones who will not want to leave, yet have to be told something?

Thank you,

Amanda


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Unread postPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:51 am 
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I'm New!

Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:50 pm
Posts: 6
Your Adoption Connection: Training complete, homestudy in progress.
Congratulations on your match. 3 under 3! That's going to be a ton of fun (hard work too, but so much fun) :)

We haven't reached the matching stage, so I don't have "real" advice but we've attended a few seminars and a couple of ideas really resonated with us. Everything would have to be in agreement with the FP, but it was suggested to us that (for example) instead of buying new bedding for your house for the little ones, ask the FP if the kids can keep the bedding they have been using and buy new bedding for the FP to use with the next kids they foster. Same thing if there are shared toys at the FP's house, but the little ones have a favourite, ask the FP if your kids (teehee - your kids, that must sound like music to your ears)...anyway, ask if your kids can keep one of the FP toys that they like, and you buy the FP a new toy to replace it.

I heard of one FM who did something really wonderful - she made up some homemade dishes for the freezer and sent them home with the kids so A) the kids would have something that tasted familiar - spiced just the way they are used to it etc. and B) the new AP could spend time bonding with their new kids. I just thought that was a wonderful and selfless thing for that FM to do.

Also, this was a thought that I had, but I don't know if it is a good one or not, and perhaps your kids are a bit young for it, but before the kids do an overnight visit with you, you could send one of your stuffed animals (if you have them) for an overnight with the kids so that your stuffy can visit with them and they can take care of it for a night. Might make them less scared to do an overnight with you.

In any case, congratulations again and I hope someone with real life experience is able to chime in with some advice that isn't just theoretical!

~ Michelle

_________________
Michelle (36), DH Jason (37)
No kids so far. Hoping to adopt either one child or a sibling group of two from foster care (ages 1-12).
We're Canadian!


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