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Unread postPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:27 pm
Posts: 28
Your Adoption Connection: I'm currently going through my home study.
Hubby and I are currently in the home study phase. We should be having our individual interviews in a couple of weeks and then home inspection. We have a bio daughter, she is actually my step daughter. We are hoping to adopt a sibling group of a boy and girl around ages 5 thought 9, hopefully biracial with a black and white preference as that is what we are. We are going to do fos-adopt through Family Connections Christian Adoptions. O, and my name is Jane.

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Getting there slowly but surely.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 2:24 am 
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Site Admin
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 2:23 am
Posts: 5347
Location: Farm fields of Illinois
Your Adoption Connection: International, foster and private adoption.
Hi Jane!
Welcome to Forever Parents! Sounds like you have a plan in place! Many of us have adopted older children from the system----some have had horrible experiences; some have had great experiences. We're all here to support you, answer questions and listen to any of your concerns as you go through this journey of adoption.

Question for you........why are you wanting to adopt older children, rather than younger ones? I don't know how old/young your dd is now, but many agencies won't allow their clients to adopt out of birth order.....and perhaps this isn't the case with you, but if so, I would highly caution you to consider adopting much younger children from the system. Certainly---parenting older adopted kids from the system is NOT like parenting children adopted at birth.

Please let us learn more about you through more comments/posts. We're here for you!

Sincerely,

Linny

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There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own. ~Robert Brault

Adoption Specialist for
Adopt America Network


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Unread postPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 12:55 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:27 pm
Posts: 28
Your Adoption Connection: I'm currently going through my home study.
Our daughter is 21 and we are 46. My husband thinks his body is going to give out in ten years due to the many car accidents he has been in and he wants to be able to enjoy the kids and run around with them while they are growing up. The agency didn't have a problem with the age group. They told us we were being too narrow in the beginning so we lengthened it.

I would love to adopt a infant or toddler but I have to be realistic. I will be 64 or 65 when he/she graduates. Although I look young for my age now, I sure wouldn't want my child to hear, "I see your grandma came to your graduation."

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Unread postPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:33 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 2:23 am
Posts: 5347
Location: Farm fields of Illinois
Your Adoption Connection: International, foster and private adoption.
Don't be so sure about people thinking you're the grandma......some of us have adopted infants when we were much older than 46. I understand what you're trying to say, but the reality is, adopting a child older than even 18mos----a child from the foster care system, can be very, very difficult to say the least.

Certainly, not always, but very often, adopting older children from the system can force you to become a counselor, more than the parent. If you're going to adopt older children, please educate yourselves more than what your county classes offer. There's much more to it than what the system provides. (Speaking from experience here.....)

And, even those who have had good experiences, would tell you it's not been an easy ride at all. I'm not trying to totally discourage you; but wanting you to see adopting hurt and older children from the system is nothing like parenting the infant.

Sincerely,

Linny

_________________
There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own. ~Robert Brault

Adoption Specialist for
Adopt America Network


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Unread postPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:04 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:27 pm
Posts: 28
Your Adoption Connection: I'm currently going through my home study.
I totally get what you're saying. attachment disorders, RAD, etc. but the agency has been pretty straightforward about older kids and I have done a lot of research and have found good as well as bad. One of the things the agency does is let you talk to another adoptive family before you are assigned a social worker. The family we talked to adopted a sibling set of four and then three. Not only did we learn of the challenges they faced, we also talked about the pros and cons of certain requirements the agency wanted. Having school age children would be a little bit easier because I am not a stay at home mom and my husband agreed to the age we stated and not anyone younger. I tried to talk him into a younger child but I'm just glad he wants to adopt because he didn't at first.

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Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 2:47 pm 
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Homeschooling Mama
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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 3:21 pm
Posts: 987
Location: Hagerstown, Maryland
Your Adoption Connection: I have 3 children, all adopted as older kids.
:welcometofp

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Holly (35)
Waiting to adopt #4 (& maybe #5!)

Proud mom to:
Brandon (24), adopted at age 12
Jessica (23), adopted at age 10
Carolina (16), adopted at age 11


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