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Unread postPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:37 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 2915
Location: Florida by way of Brooklyn.
Your Adoption Connection: Adopted three siblings in 2003.
Because our forums are private, the blog is the easiest way for people that need support, to find us. I put a lot of time and effort into finding the right keywords and optimizing it for the search engines.

Think about your adoption experiences. There are so many things you know that could help someone else. Off the top of my head, here are just a few you could write about:

Having biological and adopted children
Adopting as a single parent
Adopting as a gay parent
A guide to adopting in your state
How to adopt from China (or Russia, or....)
How to handle rejection
Your favorite adoption book
What was involved in your homestudy
The pros of open adoption
The cons of open adoption
Adopting siblings

By writing an article, essay, list, how-to guide, etc, for the blog you'll also get a link back to your site (blog, site, profile, business, etc) by including a by-line with your link. A lot of our blog posts have made it to page one of google already.

Please post your essay in this thread, along with your by-line, and I'll get it posted on the blog.


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Unread postPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 5:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 2915
Location: Florida by way of Brooklyn.
Your Adoption Connection: Adopted three siblings in 2003.
Linny45

Here are some questions and concerns hopeful adoptive persons would discuss and familiarize themselves with, even before beginning the process.

1. Make sure that you're ready to adopt a child/baby that isn't biologically yours. If you still have issues surrounding the fact that this baby was NOT grown by you, did NOTcome from your biological roots, will probably NOT look like you....then I believe you're not ready to adopt.

2. Make sure you realize there will be extra hoops and intrusions into your life/lives when you venture into adoption.
This won't be something done overnight. Even if you had a situation ready......there will still be paperwork, homestudies to accomplish, extremely probing questions into your intimate life/lives that you'll have to answer before being 'approved' and/or adopting a baby.

3. Make sure that you can love a child that isn't biologically yours; and if you choose (or happen to) biologically reproduce a child after you've adopted one, that you will not treat the adopted child any differently than the biological one.

4. Be sure you're ready to deal with issues from your baby's adoption status and those of the biologicals. Some issues surrounding the conception of an adopted child are not pleasant ones; some of the issues dealing with the type of biological person who conceived your baby may not be good. Be sure you'll be able to discern when/why to disclose this info to your child. It will be your child's history and will probably be something they'll want/need to know. Be prepared to share it with them when questions are asked. You'll be the best source of support for your child; make sure that you can discern when/if to discuss these issues with anyone other than them---IF this is a necessity.

5. Discuss what type of child/baby you're truly wanting. These might include the age of the baby; the amount of drug exposure inutero; the circumstances surrounding the baby's conception (incest, rape, etc), whether you wish to parent a child of any race other than your own.
Don't 'settle' for any issues other than those you're wanting/willing to deal with. There are often situations that may seem 'good' only because they've come quickly and 'you're the only parents who'd want them'. Try to avoid thinking with your heart. Instead take the time to talk and think about each scenario. If an attorney/agency/facilitator pressures you into 'acting very quickly'...this situation may not be a good one to take and better to 'pass' on.

And remember that some issues are ones that may or may not present themselves as a problem while the baby is an infant. Be prepared with supports available for possible problems if you choose to accept a child with possible special needs, as this may be a lifetime of planning and commitment from you.

6. Don't choose to adopt from the foster care system, or any other entity, ONLY because it's less expensive. Foster care adoption may be less expensive in the short-term; but the issues involving a lot of children (even toddlers) from the foster care system may involve a lifetime of therapists, counselors and physicians; as well as the emotional turmoil that may occur due to attachment issues and moves throughout the foster system for months or years.

7. Don't choose an attorney/agency simply because they seem bigger or advertise a lot more, have a fancier website or claim to give more resources 'on paper'. Adopting from a 'quick and fast' attorney, agency or facilitator may seem easier or more productive; but sometimes these routes may also be unethical and/or lack proper supports for you during and after the adoption process. They may also 'cut corners' where certain legalities weren't properly completed. Most, if not all scenarios involving biologicals coming back to reclaim the child, are so because of attorneys/agencies/facilitators who didn't handle the adoption procedures ethically in the first place, leaving the adoption in an illegal status.
It pays to do your homework and deal with entities who have good references, are well known for their ethical standards, and can produce credentials to show an involvement with possible changes and, where applicable, continuing educational classes in adoption law. (Example: A member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, etc.)


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Unread postPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 7:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 2915
Location: Florida by way of Brooklyn.
Your Adoption Connection: Adopted three siblings in 2003.
Linny's post is up. Thank you. :purple

I'd love to have a few more guest posts so if any of you can write something up, it would be a big help. :mrgreen: Also remember, if you have something to promote, your link can be added at the end.


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Unread postPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 9:42 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:24 pm
Posts: 862
Location: North Carolina
Joanne,

Would you be interested in a guest blog swap? I would write one for your blog and you would write one for my site?

Any topic that is adoption related is fine with our site. We prefer at least 300 words, and you can plug your site all you want. :green I can send you the details if you are interested.

As for what you want me to write about -- just let me know. You know me -- I can pretty much talk about anything adoption-related. :green

- Faith


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Unread postPosted: Mon May 19, 2008 4:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 2915
Location: Florida by way of Brooklyn.
Your Adoption Connection: Adopted three siblings in 2003.
Sure....I would love to do that. I'll need some time though....maybe more towards mid-June. :grin


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Unread postPosted: Mon May 19, 2008 5:33 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:24 pm
Posts: 862
Location: North Carolina
Okay - Just let me know. We can do it at the same time and cross-reference each other's sites. :green

- Faith


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Unread postPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 10:39 am 
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Site Admin
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 2915
Location: Florida by way of Brooklyn.
Your Adoption Connection: Adopted three siblings in 2003.
Yes, that would be great. :purple


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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:06 pm 
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Site Admin
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:31 pm
Posts: 2915
Location: Florida by way of Brooklyn.
Your Adoption Connection: Adopted three siblings in 2003.
*Refreshing this post*

_________________
Mom To Three
~ Cimion
~ Shawna
~ Jacqueline
Siblings Adopted in 2003


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Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:41 am 
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Honorary Member

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:33 am
Posts: 151
Location: Virginia
Your Adoption Connection: Beginning our family through traditional surrogacy
Is this open to newbies, Joanne? I'd love to write something for site. I know exactly what I would like to write about, too. Just let me know, and I'll get it finished and post it here if I'm allowed.

_________________
Tracy

*Wife to Tom
*Stepmom to Pamela - 23
*Mom to Louie the Dog - 3

~ We are currently in the process of building our family through traditional surrogacy!


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Unread postPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:32 am 
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Honorary Member

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:33 am
Posts: 151
Location: Virginia
Your Adoption Connection: Beginning our family through traditional surrogacy
Hey Joanne, I went ahead and posted it here. You can decide if you want to use it or not.


Musings on Motherhood
By: Tracy Lynn Sharon


When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up and be a mother. I don’t remember any grandiose dreams of becoming a ballerina or businesswoman, I only remember longing to be someone’s mom. After five years of marriage, that dream is coming true for my husband and I, though not in the conventional way; we’ve decided to expand our family through adoption. Making the decision brought about questions that needed answering. Would I love an adopted child as if she were my own? Would I be disappointed that she didn’t have my smile or my husband’s eyes? Would I bond with an adopted child the way I would bond with a child I gave birth to? These were all very serious concerns, ones that I didn’t take lightly.

What led me to decide on adoption was my daughter. I have a beautiful twenty-two year old daughter who is in college and successfully living on her own. Pam is everything I could hope for my child to be. She’s courageous, independent, funny, warm, and kind. What’s more, when I look at her, I see the influence I’ve had in her life. Sometimes I even see a gesture or two that she’s gotten from me. When someone hurts her, my maternal instincts go into overdrive and I want to make it all better. I want to find who hurt her and make it clear that they will answer to me. I want to scream in helpless rage, because I know that having a child means letting them figure life out for themselves, no matter how badly you want to rush in and fix it all for them.

The irony is that she isn’t really mine. We share no DNA. I didn’t give birth to her. In every way that matters, I feel like I am her mom, but I’m not. Pam is my stepdaughter, the child of my husband’s first marriage. Her mom holds the beautiful title of Mother, and she deserves it. She helped to raise Pam to be the woman I now hold in such high regard. She put in the days and nights it takes to be a parent. I honor her role in Pam’s life. Pam’s mother, however, in no way changes the fact that I am her mother, too. I’ve cried over this child, worried for her, stuffed stockings for her, made dinner for her, celebrated birthdays with her, laughed with her, dyed Easter eggs with her…we’ve shared a million little moments that make up a relationship. I am her mom. Just as no one can take away her mother’s role in her life, no one can take away mine.

Was I really concerned about adoption? Was I really concerned that I wouldn’t bond? I needed only to look at my daughter to answer my questions and to soothe my fears. She is mine in a way no other could be, just as my new child will be. I’m sure it’s true that mothers who give birth experience an intense rush of hormones that bonds them to their child from the beginning, as I’ve heard so many times. I’m not worried about missing out on that, though. Bonding isn’t just hormones and DNA. The moment I hold my precious daughter in my arms, there will be an undeniable connection between us. It will be the beauty of my childhood dreams realized. She will be my daughter, and I will be her mom.

_________________
Tracy

*Wife to Tom
*Stepmom to Pamela - 23
*Mom to Louie the Dog - 3

~ We are currently in the process of building our family through traditional surrogacy!


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